Friday, September 4, 2009
~ 10:47 PM ~
Yesterday wasn't really very pleasant for me. Perhaps i was real excited to go back to school, but the later part of the school part wasn't that enjoyable. Perhaps many would be wondering, ' Did you do badly or something?' Or maybe ' What happened'? It's really weird. I've asked many up till today yet many were sad because their MSG or Overall % were low. I was different. I might have lost to Alina again , but i'm happy. Since Panda once told me that being 2nd is the safest in the world. Well , i believed that. But it was useless. Yesterday, when i saw Grace crying in the canteen over her marks, i was thinking, was she crying because she was unsatisfied with herself, or was it because of others' view on her? Jealousy was perhaps the cause of all. Maybe , just maybe , there's someone in this world who won't get jealous. Regardless of anything, he/she would just accept it. Dealing with Jealousy is really difficult, considering the fact that i had never done it before. Tiding over CA1 and SA1 by close shave, i thank god. However, it seems that the more and more around me are seem to be hating me, because of my results. Frankly speaking, i even feel the murderous intent from one. Jealousy seems to be contagious, from 1 to 2, 2to 4 , 4 to 8 etc. It has become a cycle where friends pass to friends. Even till now, i don't know anymore. Yesterday after chatting with a certain someone during CCA, i realised that even best of friends are breaking apart, simply because one doesn't like losing to the others. The person that i talked to was someone like me, of the same plight. Someone who yearns for true congratulations, someone who yearns for love from people, someone who yearns for acceptance. It is that difficult? I don't understand why i've been hoping for this, but i just want this simple request, which many have achieved.... If given a choice, i feel that both of us, the one i talked to and me, would wish that we'd rather scored average instead of being wrapped up in this mist of jealousy and hatred.....
Signed off,
Bunny.
